Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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