Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize