do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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