Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
