Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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