So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
