After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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