grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
