May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Randomize
