youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
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Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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