I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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