Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
