I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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