i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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