i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
