You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize