I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
