I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
