He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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