Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize