I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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