sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
