He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
