I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I deserve this hangover.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Will exercising make me less horny?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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