I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
