Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
