did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
