WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
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How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
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it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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