Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
