i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
