My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize