I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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