Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jamesjayandrea hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(706): View more from Georgia

I GOT MY PERIOD!

(706): View more from Georgia

damn. i had names picked out.

Fav 18 7565 1402
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

Fav 13 948 3108
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(256): View more from Alabama

As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.

Fav 6 5152 874
share tweet
(202): View more from Washington, DC

For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.

Fav 46 4652 2139
share tweet
(404): View more from Georgia

don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts

Fav 13 4511 1337
share tweet
(660): View more from Missouri

I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.

Fav 45 4726 1641
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(407): View more from Florida

Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.

Fav 23 2574 1250
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(301): View more from Maryland

There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.

(914): View more from New York

It's 11 A.M.

(301): View more from Maryland

You know what, I think I will

Fav 1 109 20
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack

Fav 0 90 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT