I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want to walk on stilts...naked
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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