i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
