it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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