Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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