Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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