I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
