You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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