I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
