Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
He kissed a someone with a penis
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
