it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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