just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
