Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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