I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
He kissed a someone with a penis
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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