Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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