just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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