dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
