Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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