he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
