They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
