That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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