I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
