Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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