I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
